My Story
by sotornup
Summary: She sat there, her head in his chest, not daring to move as her friends stood in front of her amazed. This was not their friend. What was sitting in front of them was nothing more then a shell of something that used to be.
1. It's hard to see pain behind the mask

After I read the reviews (which I thank you for)I made it a little better. I hope you like it better now!

This takes place about 2 months after Back in Black

Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi nor the characters I also don't own "Concrete Angel". The wonderful, talented Martina McBride does!

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It was a Saturday when Ellie first realized it. She was sitting on the couch with her best friend Ashely when the thought came to her mind. Lately she had been feeling sick but that was normal, right? Flu was going around school not to the fact that it was right after break which met she was probably just over tired from the lack of sleep she had become accustomed to over her 2 week vacation. But it wasn't until Ashley recent complaints of the horrible cramps she had been getting as a result of a certain time a month in her life. 

Ellie was never late. Never by more then a week. It had been 2 in a half months since her last period. Sean left two months ago. The night before he left Sean was having trouble dealing with what happened so Ellie tried to cheer him up and- _"oh shit" _Ellie thought to herself.

"Um... I...I...I have to go to the bathroom" Ellie stated trying to find any excuse to be alone. She had expected something was wrong for a while but never thought it would be that bad. It wasn't until that moment that she expected anything of that degree.

Ellie knew that she was pregnant. Not only were all the signs there but now alone in the bathroom as she thought to herself she knew it was true. She felt pregnant. Some people say you just know others say the test is what proves it. Ellie knew.

After she thought about it she knew- Sean would never forgive her pulse she would probably have to give up her school and life. Abortion wasn't a option and adoption was way out. She couldn't carry a baby at school for nine months.


	2. Bearing the burdon of a secret storm

A/N: I revised this chapter. I hope you like it

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Ellie had cut exactly twice after Sean left. They were both right after he left. She promised herself she would not do it again. Not that she thought about it before it happened, but it was something she had she had to tell herself at the time. But this was a special under what seemed like a special occasion to do _that _to oneself. 

As Ellie was in the bathroom, she had her eyes fixed on her razor. She picked it up with one hand and then passed it out to the other. A minute later her forearm had three thin lines of blood mocking her as she looked down to examine what she had done. Just the site of her arm was enough to make anyone sick. Although what really made Ellie sick was the fact that there might be a little baby living and growing inside of her stomach. And the thought of raising a baby by her self when she is only 17 is enough to make her think of what it would be like to not have to deal with it anymore. To not deal with anything anymore. She thought about it for a good 15 minutes until she could figure out no other option. _"Good-bye"_ Ellie thought as she slowly traced her vanes with her razor, already stained with blood.

Ashley was sitting on the couch for about a half an hour by herself. Ellie had said she was going to the bathroom but 30 minutes was way longer then anyone needed to pee. As Ashley walked toward the hall, she heard a faint whimper coming from inside the bathroom.

"El?" Ashley asked as she knocked on the door. "You alright in there?" She heard nothing. She decided that it was best to go in; just to check to see if she was all right. With Ellie's history she decided it was best to go investigate. "El?" she asked one more time before opening up the door.

What she saw was more than anyone could bare. Ellie Nash was on the floor blood streaming out of her arm. There wasn't much on the floor but still enough to see what she was trying to do. Ashley ran to the bedroom where the closes phone is. She clicked in the numbers 911 while desperately trying to block the blood that was pouring out of her body with the toilet paper.

"Hello 911 what is your emergency" the dispatcher said from the other side of the phone

"My friend, she is bleeding, lots" Ashley responded

"Okay, just tell me your address and I will send an ambulance right away."

"Um... um... I don't know" Ashley answered never really having a reason to have the address. She knew where it was; why need a number? " It's in the building next to the bakery on 6th street. Apartment 2c."

"Okay, we're coming just stay calm and on the line until the paramedics show." She answered calmly. "First find the source of the blood and cover it with something clean and apply pressure."

"Yeah, ok what next?" Ashley responded starting to get impatient. "Please tell me they are here" she asked finally. After just a few seconds (which seemed more like hours) passed she could finally hear sirens in the distance.

"They're outside" she said, "just keep applying pressure and stay on the line until they come in." Finally she heard several men parading through the apartment. A second later she saw them.

"What happened?" one man said.

"I don't know I just came in and she was like this."

They seemed to ask questions forever. They got in the ambulance and they were still asking question after question and talking in some kind of medical talk that Ash didn't even try to understand. After all these questions all they got out of Ash was Ellie's name.

Being that Ashley was at the hospital alone and she couldn't bare it one more second. She called the first number that came to her at the time. It was Marco's. He picked it up after the third ring.

"Hello..." He sounded like he had just woken up. It was, after all, one in the morning.

"Marco, it's Ash"

"Hey Ash what's up? Look, I have a test in Kwan's class first thing. I need sleep."

"Marco shut up it's about Ellie. I need you in the hospital now." With that she hung up leaving him thinking the worst.

Marco didn't even need time to think. He was out of the door within seconds. And after speeding down the highway he was at the hospital in a maximum of five minutes. He had never driven that fast in his life. As soon as he was in the hospital he rushed over to the directory. Before he could say anything though he was directed to the corner where he heard his name coming from. From the corner of his eye he saw Ashley screaming his name.

"Marco!" Ashley screamed.

"Ash what happened?" he answered. It appeared that Ash was near tears which couldn't be good.

"It's Ellie." She responded

"What happened?" Marco asked again.

"I don't know I just walked into the bathroom and she was on the floor covered in blood."


	3. Sometimes she wishes she was never born

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews! I hope you like this chapter :) I wrote it in the car but I am pretty happy with it. It is short but I really couldn't think of anything else to put in it. **

**Muneris- Who says the baby will stay alive through this?;) But i really love sellie so i think i will have him come back :)**

"Well, ok where is she?" Marco asked as Ashley dragged him through the hospital towards a set of windows with blinds covering every last one of them.

"They won't let me see her" Ash asnwered with a quickly. If she talk much more she would not be able to hold in the tears.

"Ok you stay here. I'm calling sean" Marco said as he started to get out his blackberry.

"Why?" She asked. Why in the world would he call Sean first. What would Sean have to do with any of this?

"Well-" Marco started, but before he could get a second word out the doctor emergered from the room. Both got up from their seats and started pacing towards the doctor.

"Are you friends of a Miss Eleinor Nash?" he questioned. Both nodded to scared to get a word out. "We called her mother but was unable to get ahold of her. So as she is not here I will tell you. Well it seemes that Miss Nash has been practing a form of self abuse, more commenly known a cutting. Were you two aware of this?" Both nodded their heads, ashamed that neither of them had done anything about it. They both knew that after Sean left it would be tough on her but they were just to involved in their own problems to pay as much attention to her as she deserved. "It also apperes that Ms. Nash was- I mean is two in a half months pregnant. With the loss of blood we were afraid that we would loose the baby but with donor blood we were able to save the baby and your friend. She is awake but refuses any visitors."

"I'll be right back," Marco replied reaching again for his phone, "shit no service, I'll be right back." He yelled as he was running through the hospital heading toward the exit.

"Marco, no. Don't call him." Ashley screamed after him, but it was to late Marco was already clear out the door.

Outside he was flipping through his phone looking for Sean's number. He finally found it. He couldn't believe it was in there. Ellie must of put it in a while ago when they were together partly due to the fact that Ellie didn't own a cell phone.

"Hello" came the fimular voice from the other end.

"Sean..." How was he supposed to break this kind of news to someone? _Oh sorry to bother you. Nice day were having. Read any good books lately? Oh and by the way your ex-girlfriend is in the hospital on account of a sucide attempt due to the fact that you left her and she's carring your kid. _It just didn't seem right. This whole mess wasn't right. Ellie wasn't supposed to be in the hospital, Sean wasn't supposed to leave her, and Marco was defintently not supposed to be breaking this kind of news to Sean of all people.

"Just come back." Their was a scilence on the other end. "Ellie needs you- bad." Sean didn't need any more explanation. He was aready rounding up his car keys a headed for the door. Although, he still wanted to know what happend. He could tell that it was bad. Marco's voice was muffeled- like he had been crying and trying not to start again. Still he needed to know what it was.

"Marco hold on I'm comming. What happened?" He had to ask he wanted to know exactly what he was driving two hours at 3 am for.

"Sean, look i got to go. I'll see you when you get here. We'at St. Mary's hospital. Hurry please. I'll explain it all when you get here." Marco said just before he hung up.

Sean drove as fast as he could. That was the first time Marco mentioned the hospital! About an hour and a half passed before Sean got to the hospital. He instantly raced to the desk after parking his car wherever he could find a space- even if it was the employies only section. Instantly as he walked in he spotted Marco and Ashley in the Cafe at the other end of the hall.

"Marco" Sean yelled running over to him. "What happened?"

"Sit down. We got you coffe." Marco motioned to the empty seat across from him. Sean took it, shaking and bearly able to keep standing.

"What happened to Ellie?" Sean repeted.

"I was over at her house and she got up to go to the bathroom" Ashely started, but unable to contuine and keep from breaking down she gently motioned for Marco to contuine.

"Sean," Marco started. How do you contuine to asnwer something like this? "Ellie attempted sucide today." he said.

Sean's face went blank. He wasn't expecting this. He expected it to be just like a little cut, not this. "She... she what?" He tried to say something but couldn't.

"Sean, theres more." Marco contuined. How could their possibly be more? Marco had just told him that his girlfriend, or ex, or whatever she was to him had just attempted sucide. How could their be more? "Sean, she's 2 and a half months pregnant." With this Ashley just broke down and cried. This was no where near what Sean was expecting. This was a million times worse.

"Where is she. I need to see her." Sean forced out.

"Sean, she won't see anyone. We tried." Ashley responded. Sean didn't care. He was going to try and he wasn't going to leave until all this was figured out and Ellie was ok.

"Well, I'm going to try. What room." He said as he was aready headed down the hall.

"224" Ashley spit out behind him.

When he got to room 224 he just look at the door knob wondering if he should knock or just go in. Because of the fact that she reject Ashley and Marco, her bestfriends, he decided, in fear that she would reject him too, to just go in. "El..." he said as he walked into the room. He could see her pail figure. Her right arm was gauzed up from her thumb to her forearm, little spots of blood still comming through, and on her other arm were many very visible new cuts.

"Go away Sean." She responded without even looking up. If she looked up she would cry and she didn't want to break down in front of him of all people. "please" she added.

"No" he responded. He wasn't about to leave Ellie here alone. He wasn't going to leave her ever again, peirod. He made the mistake once but never again.

"Fine, but I'm not talking. Your waisting your time" She said, angry that he would not leave her. He just stood there as a reminder of better times. With out razor blades, oltrasounds, or hospital gowns. She refused to talk, thinking maybe then he would leave her alone. He didn't leave. He just sat in the chair next to her bed until she feel asleep.


	4. Through the wind and the rain

Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys, as I was re-reading the last chapter I realized that Marco was kind of oc. Sorry about that. And I am also sorry for all the spelling mistakes. I just got a new laptop and i haven't had time to get WORD spelling correction stuff on it yet and I suck at spelling- I have forever. And also I type really fast and so sometimes it can just be typos. I also really need a editor type person cause I am not that good at editing my stuff or if i do a good job editing it takes me about like a week to edit it. If somebody else wants to read it first before I post it then like be really, really mean and tell me what I did wrong. I would really like that :) Just reply or e-mail me.

After about an hour of sitting there in silence, Sean was finally ushered out the door. Before he left, he bent down to give Ellie a quick kiss on the forehead, but she quickly declined it knowing if she accepted she wouldn't be able to control herself. She needed to remain strong for him and herself. She closed her eyes after Sean left to spend a quick moment by herself before the doctors would come in again. She thought about everything in those few seconds. She thought about her baby, her mother, her friends, and Sean. For a moment she even thought about the furture. More like her fantasy future. With Sean and her in a little house in the county with her child running around the house. She contuined to dream about that future until a young women who claimed to be her new phsycologist, Dr. Hull, came into her empty room, and introduced herself, thust pulling her away from the perfect world in her head back to a much more painful one.

Dr. Hull was probably in her early 30s. She had long dark black hair which was pulled into a loose ponytail. She was very pretty and seemed rather nice, but just because of her being Ellie decided she didn't like her.

"So Ellie," the doctor said as she took the seat from the corner and pulled it toward the bed as she contuined to talk, "we need to have a little chat. First off, all your friends are really worried about you. You think you might want to see them? They have been in the waiting room for hours." Ellie shook her head. " Ok, next topic. You do realise that you are 2 months pregnant." Ellie nodded. "Well have you came up with anything to do yet?" Ellie shruged. "Well, does the father know?" Ellie nodded. Well she assumed he knew, if he didn't he probably wouldn't be there at all. "Have you talked to him about it?"

"No," was the first word that Ellie muttered since the doctor came in. She didn't want this doctor in her personal life at all. She turned her head quickly to the window and started counting how many red cars there were in the lot, how many blue, and how many silver. 12 red, 7 blue, and 19 silver. Maybe if she didn't seem interested the doctor would shut up.

"Where is he?" Dr. Hull asked softly before Ellie shrugged for the second time. "Was he here today?" she added with a hint of concern in her voice. Ellie nodded once again. "One second." She said before she left the door and headed for the waiting room where she was told Ellie's two friends were sitting waiting to hear anything.

At the sight of the doctor both of them stood up. "I'm assuming you two must be Ellie's friends." Both nodded their heads. "I need to talk to you two for a bit" both nodded again. "I need some information about Ellie and since she is not talking at all I was hoping that you two could help. All we want to do is help Ellie but if she doesn't open up we will need to keep her here until she talks. So I was wondering if you two had any information that could help me at all. Help me to possibly get her to open just a little bit. For example, I asked her about the baby's father and she seemed upset about it. So now I need background information. Is there anything you could give me? I think it would help if we just get her to open up a little bit." the doctor stated, then added looking at the two with a smile on her facew, "so who wants to start?"

Ashley was the first to speak up. "Sean left two months ago." she said but then added, "he didn't know though. He just found out today. They lived together for a cuple months but then everything happened at school and Sean had to leave. He came back when we called him today though. I don't know where he is, but we can call him if you want." Ashley offered.

"No not now, maybe later though. What happened at school?"

Ashley didn't feel like talking about this so Marco started talking, "There was a shooting. Sean fought for control of the gun, it went off and then Rick, the guy with the gun, was killed. Then Ellie just kind of shut down. She didn't go to school for a while. Then it was just school then home. She wouldn't go out to movies or anything. Me and Ashley came over a lot and brought her food and stuff but she hardly talked. I don't know she just kinda shut down. The part that scares me is that living is what she hates. She thinks that dieing is easer."

"Ok I have to go but you two should go home and get some rest. She will be here in the morning. Thanks for the help." With that the doctor left the room and retreated down the hall.


	5. She stands hard as a stone

**A/N: This is the fastest I've ever updated something but I was on vacation and it was really relaxing so I just wrote the entire time. I was wondering if anyone would like to like edit it for me. Like I could e-mail it to you then you comment back. Because sometimes it takes like 10 minutes to write the chapter then I don't edit it for like a week. Then I go back later and I still find stupid mistakes. So just e-mail me if your interested. I really liked this chapter but it isn't completely realistic. Ellie would be in a room with nothing in it probably strapped to a mattress if she committed suicide. The doctor would not be telling Sean all that stuff that she did. But I fit into the story so much better that way. I am making another one thats more realistic if y'all want to read that one. It's called "Sincerely, me". Well anyway I hope you like this chapter. And I don't want any comments about how it's not realistic 'cause I already explained all that. **

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Sean sat in the motel room he had for the night. The room was about the crappiest hotel room in Canada. But Sean only had one hundred thirty four dollars and about two quarters in his car. This room he got for forty nine dollars. Which meant he had about two days till his money ran out. Granted that he hardly ate and walked everywhere. He had exactly two days to work everything out. He couldn't go back home if things didn't change and he definitely couldn't tell anyone he was in. This was about Ellie, he didn't want to make it about him. Big hero coming back after a two month absence. He couldn't take that again. But for Ellie's sake he had to stay in town. He was going to stay in town if it meant he was going to sleep on the street till Ellie talked to him he was going to do it. He couldn't bear the fact that she did _that_ because of him. Because of what _he_ did. This was all his fault. But ether way he wasn't going to change anything sitting on the bed watching TV.

Ellie stood in her room looking down at the edge of her bed. The bed was a brown medal with sharp edges. Every five minutes an all to happy nurse comes in so if Ellie had to do this it in the next four minutes. She slowly bent down over the side of the bed and dragged her arm up the side. Finally there was a release, but Ellie needed more. She slowly grabbed her other arm, unwrapped the gauze wrapped around her arm and dragged along the same line she had made just the night before. She was so occupied in fact by her new pretty red line she just carved on her arm that she failed to notice that she was not alone in the room.

"Oh my God. Ellie." Ellie turned around in her bed to see none other then Sean Cameron in her doorway. Ellie looked down at her arm one last time before she slowly started to break down. The blood stoked sheets around her were quickly starting to stick to her bare skin. Through her tear stained eyes she looked over at Sean once more although he had disappered from his previous spot in the doorway. It took her a moment to realize that he was on the bed with her slowly rocking her in his arms. Much to Ellie's ignorance the man behind her was crying as well.

"Ellie, it's okay. I'm here. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here." Sean spat out as Ellie nuzzled her head in his chest.

"Sean." was all Ellie could get out of her mouth. She wanted to talk. She needed to talk to him but no words would come out of her mouth. Although, she didn't need to say anything because as she looked towards the door frame she saw her newest visitor, Dr. Hull.

"So I am assuming this is Sean." the doctor chocked out after she got over the shock of seeing Ellie and her blood stained sheets. "Let me see" she said while reaching out for Ellie's arm. "It's deep, but not enough for anything. You'll be fine."

She walked around to the nurses station to retreve for Ellie some painkillers before returning back to the girl on the bed and asked, "Ellie, could I steal Sean for a second?" Ellie shook her head. "No? Why not?" Once again Ellie tried to talk but no words would come. Now that she had Sean she wasn't going to let him go again. "Ellie, I need Sean for just a second. I promise I will make sure he comes right back" the doctor stated in her sweet, motherly voice. It was almost as if she was talking to a child or a little baby instead of to a 17-year-old girl. Ellie just look down at her sheets. She shook her head once more. "Well what about if I talk to him right outside this door. That way you can see us and make sure he won't leave. Then I'll bring him back after we talk." Ellie had no choice but to go along with it. She nodded her head and the doctor pulled Sean away from her until they were outside the doorway where she could see them talk about her but could not here a word they spoke.

"What happened?" Sean asked, angry and sad at the same time. "So I get a call from Marco at three in the morning telling me that my girlfriend... ex- whatever is in the hospital. So I come and she tells me she doesn't want to talk to me then she won't let me go but she still won't talk to me."

"To be honest I don't know. If she were a child I would diagnose her with selective mutism, although that takes over a month. We definitely know she's depressed but she's also scared. She pregnant so she scared for not her own life but for her baby's as well." The doctor stated, "and I think she is also scared that you might leave her again. Thats why she wouldn't let go of you earlier. She is really scared Sean." The doctor added.

"Well what can I do?" Sean asked tears still dripping down his face.

"Well for starters you can talk to her. She needs to hear from you that you love her and care about her. She needs to know that she doesn't need to do this alone and that your there for her, Sean." Dr. Hull stated. "You ready to go back in and talk?"

"I think so. Yeah, lets go." Sean said as he wiped his tears and followed the doctor back into the room.


	6. A world that she can't rise above

a/n: I had this finished this chapter when I put up the 5th one but I didn't want to put it up till i edited it. I think this is the right one. I edited one then saved it and all but then invest.yourself.in.me helped me edit it so i think i saved it into another folder or whatever. But i don't know. Well thanks Invest.yourself.in.me for helping me! You rock! Anyway I should have the next one up soon. Cya

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As soon as Sean walked back into the room Ellie sat up and pulled him close. She was not letting go again. She slowly sat back into his chest.

"Ellie I'm here it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. I'm here El. I love you." Sean uttered as he kissed her head. Ellie scooted closer to him.

"Ellie," Dr. Hull started then looked down at what she was lying on, "First, we need to get you new sheets." the doctor exclaimed as she retreated once again to the nurses station then returned with new sheets and gloves. After she quickly exchanged the blood stained red sheets for fresh white ones she started talking again. "Now Ellie I got in touch with you father and he had all the insurance information sent over so we'll have to move you from this room to another room where we can keep a better eye on you. Okay?" Ellie nodded.

"When will she be moving?" Sean asked

"Sometime this afternoon." the doctor answered then turned to Ellie, "Ellie, your going to be in the hospital for more then two weeks or until I see a change is that understood?" Ellie nodded again.

"Okay. We need to have a little chat. Would you be more conferable if Sean stayed in the room with us or do you want him to go wait outside until we finish?" Ellie moved closer to Sean and held his hand signifying she wanted him to stay. "All right." the doctor stated. "About the baby, have you two talked at all about this. Anything? Options, for example abortion, which I don't highly suggest given all the attention and struggle the doctors gave in order to keep the baby alive. Adoption might be a good choice in this matter." As she finished she looked at the two on the bed.

Ellie looked at Sean almost pleading him to say something. "If El is willing to carry it, I want to keep it." Sean choked out looking at the doctor as Ellie was nodding her head. Then Sean looked down at the girl in his arms, "you sure you want to do this El?" he asked. Ellie nodded her head.

"Okay, you sure you guys know what your getting yourselves into? Babies are hard work. You have to get up in the middle of the night with them, feed them, hold them, they also cost a lot." the doctor added.

"It's okay, we'll figure it out." Sean stated starting to get annoyed by the doctors nagging. "We'll be fine. Right El?" Sean added as he kissed Ellie's forehead as she nodded agreeing with him.

"Do you have money? A job? If not thats another thing you need to figure out."

"I'll get a job. We'll manage. We've got a place. I've got welfare. We'll be fine." Sean replied.

"Well what about school? You're juniors, right? By the time the baby comes you'll only be in your senior year." The doctor exclaimed.

"I'm in grade 10." Sean stated. "and I'll get a job durning the day while Ellie finishes at Degrassi then goes to collage. Then I can go to school in the summer or at night."

"Now what kind of job are you going to get with a 10th grade education?" The doctor asked. She wasn't trying to talk them out of it, but she needed them to know what they were getting themselves into.

"I'm good with cars. I'll get a job at a garage then work my way up." Sean said, "Look doctor, I know babies are expensive but Ellie's mom pays the rent. I've got welfare for food. Then I can use my money from my job to pay for the baby. I know it'll be hard at first. But we'll figure it out. We'll be fine." Sean placed his chin back in it's place, nuzzled on Ellie head.

Ellie looked up at him then for the first time sense everything happened she smiled- actually smiled. She couldn't help it. Around Sean she felt safe. Like no one could hurt her. Now they were going to be a family. Like a real family. Nothing could ever happen to her.

"Okay then, I see you've got this all figured out." The doctor spat out then turned to Ellie, "Ellie, we need to get you checked out then moved upstairs." Dr. Hull looked down at her clip board then returned to look at Sean, "Oh and Sean, while we do this you might want to go home and get Ellie's clothes. Some pj's and stuff. Okay? I'll be back in five minutes" She said before she disappeared out the door knowing very well that Sean would keep a close eye on Ellie until she returned.

"El," Sean said looking her straight in the eye. "I'm going to leave for just like an hour, okay? I promise I'll come back after that when your situated in your new room and all." Sean chose his words carefully. He didn't want to upset her more then she already was.

"Sean, please don't leave." Ellie answered quietly when she finally found her voice. It even sounded distant to her. She slowly nuzzled her head harder into his chest as he cradled her in his arms.

He didn't want to leave but he knew he had to to get everything straightened out. He wanted to stay there with her. He couldn't leave her again even if it was for only an hour. She needed him then.

Dr. Hull came back in five minutes later just like she promised. " Ellie, Sean needs to go now." she stated as she walked in. Ellie shook her head furiously. "Ellie, Sean's going to go now." She said again ignoring Ellie's request as she was still shaking her head. "Ellie, now tell Sean good bye and you'll see him in an hour." The doctor repeated while the girl in front of her was still shaking her head.

"El, I'm sorry, I have to go, but I promise I'll only be gone for an hour. No longer. I love you." Sean said as he kissed Ellie on the cheek then gave her one last hug before he left the room. Not even seeing the single tear falling down the cheek of the girl he loved.

Dr. Hull quickly took Ellie to the examine room. Ellie had about ten different doctors poking around ever part of her body. When she was finished she was taken upstairs to a whole different ward of the hospital entirely. The sign outside the elevator said "MENTIL HEALTH" in big blue bold letters. As she was directed down the hall she saw several windows leading into people's rooms. Some people looked as if they had just turned themselves inside out. Others had no expression on their face at all. A few of the people, Ellie noticed, were even strapped down to their beds like prisoners. Some had visitors, others entertained themselves by starring up at the ceiling.

Ellie was directed to a room much like all the other ones she saw on the way. It was painted all white with nothing but a blue mattress in the middle of the room against one wall and a window facing the hall on the other. The rather small room had no nightstand, no TV, nothing. This was going to be a long two weeks.


	7. Her dreams give her wings

A/N: I know this is really short but I couldn't think of anything else for this chapter. The next one should be longer. Next chapter I am going to have the Ellie/Ashley/Marco interaction then I'll have Ellie and Sean talk alone maybe about Baby then I don't know what else will happen. But I hope you like this chapter and the story. I started another story cause I was stuck on this one. It's a Palex. It's kinda different and it's a whole different style of writing. Anyway I hope you like this chapter of MY STORY.

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Sean sat at the door to the apartment with his key in hand staring at the door. He was afraid to go in yet he needed to. He didn't want to see everything they shared. It would bring back to many memories all the more reminding him that he was not in those wonderful times anymore. Now his girlfriend, who is carrying his kid, is in the hospital as a result of her suicide attempt which he triggered.

He tried to get his mind off it remembering again what the doctor said, about getting Ellie's stuff. PJ's, underwear, what the hell? What did he know about what Ellie needed? He was a guy, he barely remembered to brush his own teeth in the morning. He didn't have a clue about what Ellie did in the morning!

After moments of debating he figured it was best to call someone: a girl who would know what girls needed. He quickly opened his cell and pressed the down arrow until the name "Ashley" appeared on the screen. He knew she was dieing to know what was going on. He could tell her a little and in return she could help him get El's stuff together. He clicked the button with the big green phone and instantly the phone started ringing.

"Hello" Ashley said as she answered the phone.

"Ash?" Sean asked.

"Sean? Hey whats up? Have you herd from Ellie yet?" Ashley questioned into the phone

"Yeah. Hey I need your help. The doctor said that I should get some clothes for her, or something, and I don't know what to get at all."

"Well what did the doctor say. Do you need my help? Well of course you do. Um I'll be over. I'm on my way" Ashley babbled. "See ya."

"Um bye?" Sean questioned but the phone was already beeping meaning it had been hung up.

After Sean attempted to clean up the blood stained bathroom and was almost finished making the bed the doorbell rang. As he opened the door Ashley embraced him with a huge hug. As she walked into the room Sean noticed Marco trailing close behind her.

"So what happened? What did they say?" Ashley asked plopping herself down on the couch as Marco leaned against the wall.

"Um." Sean stated softly, "she said that she might have selective mutism or whatever. She's depressed and I don't know! What else am I supposed to tell you?" Sean asked getting upset he was sitting here chatting with Ellie's friends when Ellie was in the hospital doing God knows what.

"Well what about-" Marco started quietly before Sean cut him off.

"Were keeping it." Sean finished knowing what Marco was talking about.

Ashely gave Sean an even bigger hug now. Then she got to work getting Ellie some clothes: sweat pants, t-shirts, and slippers, some underwear, and bras while Sean looked all around the house for something Ellie could do for two weeks. He quickly found some books and her mp3 player and stuffed it all in her tote bag. Sean picked up the clothes from Ashley and headed out the door. "You guys coming?" He asked when he gets to the doorway. Ashley and Marco get up from their seat and follow him to his car.


	8. She flys to a place where shes loved

**A/N: yes, I know it's short but a short chapter is better than no chapter, right?A little fyi btw I am taking the content of this chapter from what I remember from a hard time in my family's life which is a whole different story. I hope you like this chapter. **

When the three arrived at the hospital, Sean immediately jumped out and ran towards the entrance. Ashley and Marco quickly followed him in confusion, racing to catch up with him. When Sean entered the hospital he ran to a card table where a large black haired lady was working.

"Can you tell me were Ellie Nash is." Sean asked the lady who from there went to her computer.

"What is your relation to Ms. Nash? Your friend is in the psychiatric ward. You'll need a pass from me if you want to go up. Sorry, her doctors only allowing family at this time." She said with a snobby tone.

"Um," Sean started before Ashley cut him off.

"I'm her sister, this is our step-brother, Marco, and he is El's boyfriend." Ashley stated motioning towards Sean "My dads out of the country and he said just go right up but ..." Ashley rambled. The lady then shut her up by the only means she had at her disposal. She held out three blue papers with attached clips which Ashley quickly took and ran off, the two boys now trailing behind her. They got to the elevator and pressed the button to take them to the sixth floor once on each one pinned the paper to their shirts.

Once on the floor the an officer stopped them and asked politely to show him what the bag contained. Sean carefully removed each of the content of the bag. When they were through only the short sleeve shirts, underpants, boxer shorts, and books were allowed to precede on with them. The man quickly explained to them the that any object anybody could use for something other then it's purpose could not be brought in. The three understood went on their way.

Ashley quickly looked down at the blue paper in her hand. She read the paper once more and ran off again to the left. They all tried not to look in the windows of the rooms, instead looking at the numbers they searched for room 658, but they couldn't help glancing at all the lost, confused, and just down right crazy people were in the rooms. Ellie didn't belong there.

Once they got to room 658 Sean ran into the room while the other two stood out side the door for a while. They could both see Sean running up to Ellie, his arms extended, while Ellie cuddled up into his warm embrace. After waiting a few moments for the couple to get situated. Ashley and Marco stumbled into the room.

"Hey El" Marco said quietly as he walked up to the small mattress and pulled her towards him. Ellie gently gave into the hug and nuzzled her head into her friend's chest.

After a while Ellie pulled away and retreated to her previous spot on her boyfriend's chest. He gently wrapped his hands around her. "Ellie," he said quietly as she started to drench his shirt with her tears.

It was Ashley who spoke up next. "We brought you stuff El." Ashley stated quietly, still taken back by the site of her friend's scarred arms. Ellie finally lifted her head up only to stare onto the bag for a brief moment before returning her head back to it's previous place.

"El, you wanna say anything to Ash?" Sean asked imitating the same baby talk manner the doctor had used on her before. Ellie then turned to stare blankly onto Ashley.

Marco stared at Ellie, bewildered. This wasn't his friend. She was changed. It was her body but it wasn't her. "El, you all right?" he asked as she continued to stare. Ashley slowly moved out of the way as Ellie finally took her gaze off her and replaced her head into Sean's chest yet again.

Both of her friends stared up at Sean in confusion. Sean looked back, still very confused himself with his girlfriend's new behavior. The doctor then came in before any of them could utter another word.

**A/N: I hope you liked it. I should update it soon. I've been really into sellies lately. I really am pleased with were this story is going even though I wasn't quite so fond of where it started! LOL so anyway PLEASE REVIEW even if it is to say something like "I hate your story" or "good job" even "pms" will do. It's really easy I just want to know your reading it. I don't even mind flames. JUST REVIEW!**


	9. Somebody cries in the middle of night

**A/N: In case anyone failed to notice Ellie is slowly getting worse with each chapter. Sean the only one, in later chapters, that she'll show any affection towards. In the past chapter she showed a little affection towards Marco. Also, just a little FYI it's two months after back in black so her mother is still in a rehab center and so her father is taking care of the money and everything else through e-mail and telephone.**

"Ellie, who do you have here?" the doctor smiled, "wow your quite popular!" She placed a sheet of paper in the box and went along with her business like this was normal. As Ellie heard her she shot her head up to see where the voice was coming from but seeing who it was she quickly retreated to her previous spot once again. "Ellie, have you and Sean thought of any names yet?" as if she was really going to answer. The doctor looked around at each of the kids, "Well thats okay. You've got plenty of time for that. Right El?" Ellie make no acknowledgment that anyone was talking.

Dr Hull went to the nurses station and came back with a young female nurse with long brown hair. The nurse introduced herself as Marie to Sean then pulled down one sleeve of Ellie's thin hospital gown and quickly inserted a tin needle into her skin. "It's an antidepressant." The nurse explained, "Dr. Hull didn't think she could handle a pill." Ellie made no indication that she even felt the prick. She simply nuzzled her head further into her boyfriend's chest while he kissed the top of her forehead.

After Marie left Dr. Hull came back in for another visit. "Sean may I see you outside for a sec?" She asked. Sean slowly got up gently lifting a scared looking Ellie onto the mattress, leaving her alone on the bed while a single tear escaped her eyes. Marco quickly got up and put his arms around his friend, trying his hardest to not let his tears escape also.

Sean left the room, following Dr. Hull into the hall and out of site. "She won't take any food which will be pretty hard on the baby," the doctor stated simply. "Were going to start the IV soon." she let out an exhaust. "Normally, I wouldn't be telling you any of this but Mr. Nash instructed us to tell her friends anything we knew."

The doctor began slowly swifting from one leg to another. "Sean I've only seen a few cases like these. In most cases the person never came out of it." Sean's face stood emotionless. "But we need hope. Some were able to come out on top after a few years in therapy. There are many good hospitals out there for her. With medication most are able to at least open up a little. They should take about a week to kick in."

Sean ran back into the room. He tore Ellie's fragile body away€ from Marco's tight grip and looked her straight in the eye. "Ellie," He whispered forcing his tears back into his eyes as he moved her head up to him, "Say your alright. Please Ellie. I can't loose you. Please," he cried, "Ellie" Two tears was all Ellie could force out of her body she placed her head into his chest, nuzzling it deeper and deeper with every second.

Dr. Hull came in and motioned for Ashley and Marco. They quietly left the room not disturbing their friend.


	10. when morning comes it will be to late

**A/N: I saw that my eight chapter got more reviews than any chapter (except the first) so I tried to repeat it but then I realized that most people don't like to read the same thing twice. I also noticed that I haven't added a lot about her pregnancy so I'll add that in there and more stuff too. Everything happened in a day and I don't really like doing something like "TWO DAYS LATER" or whatever. So I hope you read it and you like it!**

_Dear Ellie, _

_It has been four months sense all that happened. I think I'm going crazy too. Your doctor, Dr. Hull, suggested writing in a journal but what 17 year old guy writes in a journal? Then she suggested this and this sounds more sane. I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's not like I'll let you read them anyway. _

_I know your getting better. You brighten up every time I walk in the door. I love your smile! I have only seen it once sense everything. It was when we decided on our daughter's name: Chloe Marie. I knew you would like it. _

_I can't believe in just a few months I will be holding our daughter in my arms! I love how you can show emotion to me but you need to let your mom in too. She has been out of rehab for two whole months now, Ellie. She needs you to talk to her. I know she screwed up in the past but she's different now. She's been too the hospital everyday sense she got out. She even helped me with the nursery. It's a deep red with dark wood furniture. We have a crib, and a changing table, a dresser, and even a rocking chair for you to rock our little Chloe to sleep at night! In our room I've got _

_She is going to be so spoiled! So many people have been over here to see the nursery! When I'm not at my job at the garage, and I'm at the hospital with you, talking or sleeping on the couch, so many people come in! Ashley and Marco come everyday after school. Craig and Jimmy come up here like twice a week. Sauve comes every once in a while._ _Even Paige and Alex come once a week! We're all rooting for you Ellie!_

_You've made such a progression though. The doctors said it would take years to come out but it's been just a few months and you're already communicating with me. You ate some soup last Friday! I was so happy even though you threw it up five minutes later at least you tried. Dr. Hull said yesterday she even got you to say a word yesterday! I think by the time Chloe comes you'll be better! Dr. Hull doesn't think so but I do! She didn't think you would be communicating in four months but it happened! Your not talking yet but I know it will happen! I love you Ellie. I've never been this sure of anything in my life. Now forgive me for being a big softy now but I know that I love you and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hope you get better soon! _

_Love,_

_Sean_

A/N: I wasn't quite thrilled with how this chapter turned out. To tell you the truth I had it finished in Augest but i wasn't sure if i wanted to post it or not. So i want some reviews. If you don't like it i will take it down or change it or make a totally new one. REMEMBER ANY REVIEW IS A GOOD REVIEW!


	11. Author's Note

AN: ok so this is not a chapter. It has been almost a year sense i even looked at this story but i just remembered about it and im thinking i want to start it up again. although, in my life, a lot has happened that could affect this story. This year, my bestfriend was in the hospital as a result of a sucide attempt. I know now first hand how devestating it could be for everyone. It was one of the hardest things i have ever gone through, knowing someone you love so much would rather be dead is one of the most painful things in the world. it was extreamly hard on her but i think she came out of it. (although her boyfriend (ex now) is still not over it.) Also, my 17 year old sister just had a baby. I am so excited! shes so cute :) But i know how hard that can be too. So, I guess what allthis is saying is that I'm pretty sure that "my story" will be coming back and much better its second time around. Expect new chapters very soon.


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